up up and away

I was one of the first in line on Thursday to see the opening screenings of Superman Returns. I brought with it high expectations and a deep affection for the character. My mother had taken me to Superman 1 when I was 7 years old. She had wanted to share the Man of Steel that she had loved since childhood – her Superman was George Reeves not Christopher. We still rate it as one of our fondest memories of my childhood and every now and then we reminisce at how amazing those opening credits were as we hum John Williams' iconic theme.

27 years later we both took my 11 year old daughter to a rerun of the film at ACMI last year. She’s a pretty sophisticated kid having watched enough television to make up the quotas of several class mates who are forbidden such a luxury. Even she was still moved by this classic comic book tale. So it was with enormous anxiety and hope that the three of us stood in line tonight for one of the first screenings of Superman returns.

I wasn’t too worried. I’d been following its progress online through Bryan Singers video diaries. I had read countless interviews with him and I knew that his heart was really in it. I think Bryan Singer, who would have been 13 years old when he first saw Superman, has not really made a film. He’s made a lovely sweeping homage to a film, one that he clearly loves and respects. There were so many references to what had gone before, even down to lines of dialogue, what the characters wore. You see Clark and Lois get stuck in a revolving door, sunrise over the Kent farm, Lex Luthor even says “so long Superman’ and yes those opening credits are the same.

To be honest with you I don’t think Singer had much choice. Deviate too far from the original material and the movie tanks. Be respectful enough so fans will be happy, and give a couple of added bonuses to keep them guessing. I’ll be much more interested to see what he does with the second film. Because we’ll trust him enough to let him do what he wants. It’s a tried and true formula. Singer gave us pure XMen in the first film, the Singer Xmen for the second. I think many would argue that the second is a better film.

And what of Brandon Routh? He had big boots to fill and he did an admiral job. He filled the suit physically there is no denying that. A man that can make Kate Bosworth look plain is really quite a specimen. But I was most struck by his voice. So full of kindness and sadness, perfect. It’s hard to believe he was just working in a bar in LA. Do people who look like that really just have ordinary lives? Again, as with so many details in the film I felt that his casting was not so much about filling Supermans shoes but filling Reeves.

Problem is Christopher Reeve turned out to really be a Superman. There is no filling those shoes.

Kate Bosworth is not half as bad as I was expecting her to be. Kidder always seemed to old, too cynical to ever be a likable Lois Lane. And poor old James Marsden gets cast as the man who comes second yet again. He’s now got a trifecta as the loser boyfriend (The Notebook, XMen and now SR) what is it about this guy that he keeps getting cast in these roles? He’s nice to look at, great teeth, full head of hair. I’m tired of seeing him not get the girl, somebody throw him a bone.

Kevin Spacey? You know Kevin Spacey gives me the creeps. There is something not quite right about him. That’s why he is so good as Lex Luthor. So much harder, genuinely threatening, really really insane. Parker Posey is way too much as his mole. She's no Miss Teschmacher that’s for sure. I normally like Posey but she’s too arch next to Spaceys more sinister take on the character. And when she finally comes through for the team it's a little unbelievable.

It’s a tad long at nearly 2.5 hours and the cgi gets pushed to its limits. If you don’t bring with it a whole lot of emotional ties you may be disappointed, I don’t know. It’s one film I cannot be subjective about. Like Star Wars it’s a film that changed my life, changed my relationship to cinema (they made me fall in love, and I’ve been swooning ever since). I don’t think it will change my daughters life but she thought Superman Returns was fantastic. My mother made us stay through half an hour of end credits (respect!) and I, well I came home and sat down at midnight to write this blog entry. Three generations of movie geek left the cinema happy.

super kewell

Dear Harry,

Please excuse the lack of formality in this letter. But I think for a man that has made me laugh, cry and almost go into cardiac arrest in one week we must now be on a first name basis.

I am an early riser and so it wasn’t hard to roll out of bed in the small hours of the morning to watch your game against Croatia. I’ll admit your league is not one I know much about. My heart belongs to AFL and we are at a very complex time in our season but I was prepared, like all good armchair sports fans to be your back up here on home ground.

I’d done my research. I know more about the Liverpool football club than is really necessary (well done on that goal against Tottenham in January. I’d say your ankle is well healed and you’re on your way for Goal of the Season). After watching reruns of your past ten (!) goals for LFC I could see what all the fuss was about this week with your rumble with FIFA.

What you did in the 79th minute of the game was quite simply one of the most beautiful moments in Australian sporting history. It was at once elegant and ruthless. How you managed to dance with that ball after running what seemed to be continuously for over an hour is beyond the understanding of us mere mortals. This morning you are a god.

See you Tuesday morning Harry.

Cheers young man

Ramona

PS. Please pass on a cheerio to Mark Viduka and Craig Moore, both of whom I have fallen madly in love with.

It's not me, it's you

Amazon has long been a friend of mine. It rescued me from despair when channel 9 cut West Wing off at the knees, in gave me Curb your Enthusiasm, Arrested Development and Northern Exposure in pristine DVD shrink wrapped heaven. It sent me books on Woody Allen, Davids Lynch and Cronenberg and yes, yes, the Muppet Show box set.

Why oh why has everything now gone terribly wrong?
I trundled over there this morning to Ramona’s Store (a store? just for me? you do love my visa card don’t you!) to see what new recommendations have come up. What I saw turned my blood cold. That chill you get when you know a relationship is coming to an end. And you know you are the one that is going to pull the pin.

As Good as it Gets (recommended to you because you said you own Lost in Translation)
Girl with a Pearl Earring (recommended to you because you said you own Lost in Translation)
Before Sunrise (recommended to you because you said you own Lost in Translation)
The Last Samurai (recommended to you because you said you own Lost in Translation)
Lord of The Rings (recommended to you because you said you own Lost in Translation)

Is this your way of telling me you don’t love me anymore? You really know how to hurt a girl don’t you?

First of all. I NEVER said that I owned Lost in Translation. I saw it once at the cinema and was so bored I think I may have nodded off at one point. Every single scene was between 45 seconds to 2 minutes too long. Over an hour and a half that starts to add up. I came out surprised it was still daylight.

Lost in Translation was like water torture. Only made worse by the fact that everyone else on the planet though it was the work of genius. I wanted to hunt that Coppola girl down and give her a slap. That’s alright; I hear that her latest self indulgence Marie Antoinette was booed at Cannes…oh how the pretentious have fallen.

The last scene of Lost in Translation was very good for two reasons 1) we could not hear what either insipid character was saying and 2) it was the end of the film.

So no Mr Amazon I do not and have never claimed to own Lost in Translation.

Therefore

As Good As it Gets was a nasty piece of work that was dressed up as feel good chick flick. It made women of ALL ages feel crap about themselves not just the usual 30-45 age group. I guess maybe that was a good thing. Grandmothers could be depressed with granddaughters for once. Helluva way to bring generations of women together.

Girl with a Pearl Earring. I didn’t see it. I can’t watch Scarlett Johansson in anything (can you tell?) except Ghostworld. She relishes her role as object. I don’t need to pay money to see that. Yes she is beautiful, but you know what? Most actresses are. It’s part of their job. Big deal. I love looking at beautiful things as much as the next person. She can’t act. That’s what I have a problem with.

I will never forgive anyone who had anything to do with the abomination that was Love Actually (one day I will unleash my fury on that film, but not today). So now Colin Firth is of the list too.

Before Sunrise is rediculous. I suspect it is for very young women who are still optimistically thinking that men will say what they mean, keep promises and be excellent kissers. I'm sure it helps if the girls men are with are complete strangers they will never see again. That is until the sequel...

The Last Samurai has Tom Cruise in it. Enough said.

Bored of the Rings. Enough said.

So I went into my Amazon profile an unchecked the box next to Lost in Translation.
I refreshed my recommendations. And all was forgiven.

Syriana
Justice League – series 2
Firefly
Band of Brothers
The Unbelievable Truth

Hold up. Wait a sec. they’ve released the entire Hal Hartley back catalogue on DVD???

Where is my visa card!
I heart Amazon

I Wonder

Ok no one could be happier than me that Joss Whedon (I bow down before thee oh mighty one) has been given the monumental task of bringing Wonder Woman to the big screen but I have to say I am not happy, not happy at all, with the rumored list of actresses up for the plum role

We have
Lucy Lawless (who will only ever be Xena)
Sarah Michelle Gellar (who will only ever be Buffy)
Kim Basinger (who could at this point in her early 50’s could play WW’s mother)
Jessica Alba (yes she can pull of a stars and stripes bustier, but we need soul people!)
Katie Holmes (who is lost to us all)
Michelle Rodriguez (who is just Lost in more ways than one)
Mischa Barton (the new it girl is almost already yesterdays news)
Jennifer Connelly (are you serious?)
Charlize Theron (smart, beautiful, earnest, can act if pushed. Aeon Flux anyone?)
Lindsay Lohan (too young)
And the beautiful Aiswarya Rai (already a wonder woman but not Wonder Woman).

This is my shortlist.

1. An unknown
2. An unknown
3. An unknown
4. An unknown
5. An unknown.


When I was a kid Wonder Woman was one of my all time favorite comic books and TV shows. I was always torn between her and the Bionic Woman but if you were to throw the golden lasso of truth around me I’d have to say that Diana Prince and her super heroine alter ego were the tops. In a world of Daisy Dukes and Marcia Bradys it was so exciting to see what a real goddess could do, especially with an invisible plane – boy could that thing fly!

So of course the image of Lynda Carter is firmly planted in my heart. Faced with the same dilemma as Bryan Singer for Superman Returns does Josh Whedon really have a choice? With such an iconic role we can’t be thinking ‘oh there’s Buffy kicking butt again’ or ‘Why is Xena wearing that gold headband?’

So Josh. I think I still have my costume somewhere. I can honestly claim to be a complete unknown. I could easily dust it off and kick some evil doers butt.
Mind you I was four years old last time I wore it, I may need to get it altered somewhat. Maybe if I spin around really really fast…

Whaddya reckon? There’s a little Wonder Woman in all of us after all.

Now the theme song:

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
All the world's waiting for you,
and the power you possess.

In your satin tights,
Fighting for your rights
And the old Red, White and Blue.

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
Now the world is ready for you,
and the wonders you can do.

Make a hawk a dove,
Stop a war with love,
Make a liar tell the truth.

Wonder Woman,
Get us out from under, Wonder Woman.
All our hopes are pinned on you.
And the magic that you do.

Stop a bullet cold,
Make the Axis fall,
Change their minds, and change the world.

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
You're a wonder, Wonder Woman.

What was that ruckus? I heard a ruckus.

> I was saddened to learn of the passing of father, husband, published poet and actor Paul Gleason (age 67) on May 27th to a rare form of lung cancer linked to asbestos. One of the all time great character actors he appeared in almost every tv show put to air inthe past ten years.

Seinfeld, Friends, Grace Under Fire, Malcolm in the Middle, Cold Case, Dawsons Creek, The Guardian, The Drew Carey Show, Melrose Place, Veronicas Closet, News Radio, Miami Vice, The Wonder Years, Dallas, The A Team, Cagney and Lacey and Hill Street Blues just to name a few.
He also popped up in movies like Trading Places, Arthur and Die Hard.

But really he's known for one role and one role only. That of Principal Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club (1985). In his honour I give you one of the great scenes for this seminal 80's film


Richard Vernon: That's the last time, Bender. That the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those kids, you hear me? I make $31,000 a year and I have a home and I'm not throwing it all away on some punk like you. But someday when you're outta here and forgotten about this place and they forgotten about you, and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life, I'm gonna be there. That's right. And I'm gonna kick the living shit out of you. I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt.

Bender: You threating me?

Richard Vernon: What are you gonna do about it? You think anyone's gonna believe you? You think anyone gonna take your word over mine? I'm a man of respect around here. They love me. I'm a swell guy. You're a lying sack of monkey shit, and everyone knows about it. Oh, you're a tough guy. Hey c'mon. Get on your feet pal. Let's find out how tough you are. I wanna know how tough you are. Let's go. C'mon man, just take the first shot. I'm begging you, take the first shot. Just take one good swing... [Bender pauses, staring]

Richard Vernon: Yeah, that's what I thought. You're a gutless turd.


>

Rest in Peace Principal Vernon.

x marks the spot

XMEN: The last Stand

I wasn’t expecting anything and I got a little bit more than I’d hoped for. Maybe it was because it was Friday night and I’d had a bad week. A guy I liked rejected me, friends stood me up and I got a toothache. I was grumpy and I needed an escape route. So I bundled my crew into the sirion to go see XMen 3. I found myself kinda sorta enjoying it. But in the same way I enjoyed the jumbo box of popcorn that came in with us, great at the time but made me a mite queasy for nutrition later.

Let’s start with what I did like about the film. A big thank you goes out to the costume designer who decided that Wolverine needed to be in a singlet for most of the picture. As you can see this was an excellent choice. As my friend Beck said “It’s porn you can take kids to!” how right she was. Hugh Jackman literally makes me weak at the knees so it’s just as well I’m always in a cinema when I see him. There is talk of a solo Wolverine film which, depending on the director, is something to look forward to.

Ah now. The Director.

Our comic book lovin’ hearts collectively cracked when we heard that Bryan Singer had abandoned the Xmen franchise for the much greener pastures of Superman. I for one was so conflicted! I understood his decision but how could he walk away from what he had started?
Then the unthinkable happened. They hired Brett “I need another explosion after that sexist one liner!” Ratner. We all knew the film was going to hell in a hand basket. Ratner is responsible for such abominations as Rush Hour (1,2,3 and now 4!), After The Sunset and a slew of Mariah Carey and Madonna videos. My God there was no hope.

Other problem was Halle Berry. Not much chop in the first two and on the strength of Monsters Ball and the gold statuette that came with it (yawn yawn yawn) was able to demand her part be pumped up along with her cleavage and hair. Not to worry, she still came out of it looking daft. What we really wanted was more Rebecca Romijn as Mystique whose part was downgraded for no good reason!

We did get plenty more Famke Janssen who my mate Michael reckons is the most beautiful woman in the whole world. Fair enough too, she is lovely. Her Pheonix is a great tragic figure and she gives it a really dignified edge that was not in the script. When she implores Wolverine to kill her it is genuinely shocking. I don’t understand why we don’t see this actress more.

In Ratners defense he does do a great action sequence and some of them zing along at a terrific pace. But there is far too many of them and you get tired pretty quickly with all the rushing around. Some of them are cringe worthy. I don’t think Magneto really had to move the Golden Gate Bridge just to get to Alcatraz Island, it was excessive even for him.

What did I hate about the film? The music was awful, Halle Berry, dumb one liners, awkward crowd scenes (the worst extras I’ve ever seen on screen) and weak plot devices, weird extra characters that literally have nothing to do. The kid with wings was nice, but really did we need such an obvious link to the neXt generation of the franchise? And my very smart daughter aged 11 said “Why are all the bad guys dressed like Goths?” good freaking point.

I do think that we ask way too much of these comic book adaptations. I know Xmen is meant to be a great analogy of current events (gay rights, genetic testing, stem cell research, tyrannical governments) but really we are so far gone this in not the time for analogy, metaphor or fable. We need to face those things head on in super obvious ways, not through Patrick Stewart levitating out of his wheelchair.

Many of us grew up, continue, to read comic books and we rip films like XMen 3 to shreds because they don’t live up to our exacting standards. The dread we all feel knowing Nicholas Cage has done Ghost Rider, the pain of Tank Girl, Judge Dredd, Fantastic 4. Nothing can live up to the experience we had when entering these worlds through the magic of pen and ink. Unfortunately you get some great adaptations like Sin City and Batman Returns which just highlight how bad the others are.

So yes it’s a bad film. Nowhere near as interesting as the first two. Yes it is shallow, loud and kind of obnoxious. But what do you want for a 200 million dollar film that was built to make money out of happy meal toys and supersize me coke and popcorn combos? If it costs that much they’ve got to make it back. It’s junk food not high art.

We’ll get over it pretty quickly. Superman lands in our laps soon, and Bryan Singer will have us back in our happy place again.

*Warning Spoilers Below*

It all started with the film Flightplan. I knew instinctively that it was a bad movie and I just didn’t have the time or energy to fork out the cash to go see it. I’m down to one cinema experience a week so I have to be judicious and I’ve made some notoriously bad choices in the past couple of years (Saw, King Kong, The Constant Gardener, Mission Impossible etc).

Problem with Flightplan was that no one else was going to see it either. And I really really needed to know. Was the kid alive? Was Jodi Foster going completely mad? Was Rachel McAdams a blow up doll?

And the previews, the previews were driving me nuts! I’ve gone to see some real turkeys because the preview hasn’t revealed the twist ending and I have a low tolerance level for not knowing. Just ask movie buddy Michael who I forced to tell me scene by scene the horrors of Wolf Creek. But Flightplan was different. It was sending me into some weird frenzy and I almost, almost, went to the cinema just to scratch that itch (ewww).

Until I found www.themoviespoiler.com.

This has become one of my all time favorite websites. People send detailed and complete descriptions of absolutely every film in release – often with their own hilarious sidebars. It is literally like having a mate sit down and have coffee with you and say “Don’t see it, it’s crap, and here is the plot”.

It’s such a relief! I didn’t have to suffer through Basic Instinct 2, Final Destination 2 or Firewall. I could laugh at the antics of The House of Wax, The Hills have Eyes and Saw 2. I could confirm that Doom made no sense, Elizabethtown is Cameron Crowe’s most pathetic film and that M's description of Wolf Creek was very very accurate.

And that Jodi Foster was not crazy.

Weirdly enough after reading some of these spoilers I did end up seeing the films. I didn’t think Flightplan was great, but it wasn’t that bad. Hostel was nasty as hell, much nastier on screen than in the spoiler and The Squid and the Whale is Jeff Daniels best performance. Munich wasn’t half as flabby as expected and Paris Hilton cannot act but it is fun watching her screaming.

As for the DaVinci Code, I haven’t read the book, I won’t see the film but I’m really glad to know the plot. It gets my vote for comedy of the year.

moviespoiler