What are you lookin' at?

It is not uncommon for a friend to ask me on Monday “So what’s on this week?” for normal people who have rich and fulfilling social lives the answer may be “work, dinner out, band, play, footy, lunch, love, drive, whatever”.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to try and fit all those fantastic things in too, but as my friends know, when you ask me “what’s on?” I’m more than likely to respond with “Well Monday there is a great late night movie on the ABC, Tuesday I have to get up at 5am to watch Cape Fear, Wednesday I’m going to watch as many episodes of Little Britain as I possibly can etc etc”

This Weeks Viewing

MONDAY

Mythbusters (730pm ABC). I’m a latecomer to this show but I can tell you now I’m riding the geek train with everyone else on this one. This week they try raising a sunken boat using ping pong balls. Madness!

Pret-A-Porter (10pm Movie Extra) – Robert Altman’s shambolic and glamorous look at Paris fashion week. Dahrling it’s worth it just to see Richard E Grant hamming it up. The perfect antidote to Mondayitis.

I'll probably also catch Barnaby Joyce in Antarctica on Australian Story and John Anderson on Enough Rope, bit of an Aunty feast!

TUESDAY

SET (10pm ABC) The Necks are the kind of band that people keep telling me I’ll love. I’ll give it ten minutes and if I hate it I’ll switch over to

The Cars That Ate Paris (10pm Show Greats) a great early early (1974!) Peter Weir film. Creepy tale of a man trapped in a small country town where the locals force tourists to have car accidents so they can salvage the car parts. Gritty and weird.

WEDNESDAY

In The Mood For Love (10pm SBS) – those of you that saw the beautiful 2010 last year from director Wong Kar-Wai should try and catch this prequel. It’s as sexy and languorous as the second film, and easier to understand (no weird sci fi sub plots). Another Christopher Doyle D.O.P masterpiece.

THURSDAY

West Wing (9.30 ABC) I just spent a couple of hours reading up on every plot line for the final season (I’m a sucker for spoilers). It’s still a while away here, we’re only mid season 5. Season 6 is out May 9 on Amazon…woo hoo!

The Fountainhead (10.50 TCM). I know Ayn Rand was a nutcase but I have a real fondness for stories about architects. It’s already been a year since I last watched it so it’s due for a revisit. Any excuse to watch Gary Cooper (super duper!)

FRIDAY

Daria (ABC 530pm). One of the smartest animated shows to come out of the U.S (so smart you’d swear it was Canadian). I wish I could say she reminds me of me but I’m just not that cool. I find it amazing that the (animated) cheerleader Brittany is dating quarterback Kevin...I always knew there was something weird about that Spears girl…

Jackie Brown (8.30 movie extra) I think this is Quentin Tarantino’s most underrated film. Pam Grier is so hot as Jackie, in fact the casting of it is impeccable. And every time I see it I remember how much I liked Bridget Fonda…where has she gone? But because I only watched this a couple of months ago I may switch over to...

...The Chasers War on Everything (ABC 9pm) I can’t tell if these guys are private school upstart morons who are all ego and exhibitionism or if they are in fact our only hope of getting all our anger, disappointment and disgust at the current state of political affairs out in a public forum. But maybe they are just idiots. Never quite sure…

SATURDAY

Thunderbirds (6am Nine). I will still be in my pajamas I will have an enormous mug of coffee and I will start my weekend feeling nostalgic, dorky and well nourished.

Iron Chef (8.30 SBS) The Americans in their usual foolhardy way just tried to recreate this with Wolfgang Puck at the helm. It failed miserably and was yanked after only 5 episodes. How they thought it could work I’ll never know. What will the secret ingredient be this week? Same as always…Japan!

930 Swordfish (9.30 NINE). I will watch the first 40 minutes of this crap film for two things. The opening sequence is an astounding piece of filmmaking (which only makes the rest of the film so much more disappointing) and to see Hugh Jackman without his shirt on – which I paid good money to see in the cinema and was well worth putting up with the next two hours of crapola – for the boys there is a flash of Halle Berry topless too but it’s not half as good as Hugh so I’ll have already switch over to


Shaolin Soccer (10.40 Show Greats) I haven’t seen it and I know I should have. Tonight is the night!

SUNDAY

The Insiders (9am ABC). This is a Sunday morning breakfast special for me. I'm quite fond of Barrie Cassidy and the gang (well not that Bolt fellow, he’s a tool). It’s a nice idea, to get smart journo types in a room and get their take on the week that’s been no matter their pesonal political bent. At least I feel I can go forward into the new week a little more informed.

When (and if) I leave the couch I’m hoping to see the new Terence Malick film The New World.

Ladies Night

In one of my many late night viewing marathons I stumbled across one of the great films by Sydney Pollack ‘They Shoot Horses Don’t They?’ (1969) starring Jane Fonda. It’s a heartbreaking film that I’d love to talk about at some later date (come on, can’t I save Pollack for another day?)

I got to thinking what happened to all the great gals like Jane who use to be in these movies? They were everwhere for a while and then they just seemed to dissapear. Sure Ann Bancroft pops up in G.I Jane and Shirley McLaine still crazies up the screen on occasion and my love of Lily Tomlin knows no bounds. But there were a couple of really great dames who just faded away. And I miss them!

We get ourselves all excited these days when actresses make intelligent choices. What else can explain the hoo haa over the truly awful Rachel Weisz getting showered with award after award for her ponderous role in The Constant Gardener? Or the excitement when blonde goddess Charlize Theron fuglies up for Monster and North Country?

Let’s give Nicole Kidman an Oscar for wearing a fake nose and throw one in for Gwyneth Paltrow pretending she’s a boy. It's as if all they have to do is stop smiling and people now call that acting.

Ah yes I’m pretty fired up about this one. I just wanted to remind you all of some of what came before, maybe then you’ll understand why I’m so scathing of this current crop of so called ‘serious’ actresses…

Ellen Burstyn. When Ellen was nominated for an Oscar in 2001 for her amazing role in the brilliant Darren Aranofsky film 'Requiem for a Dream' no-one seemed more surprised than her. She made so many astoundingly good films in the seventies and early eighties and then slipped quietly into made-for -tv hell seemingly never to return.

She was the wonderful single mother in The Exorcist (1973) was the title role in Scorcese's almost forgotten Alice Doesn’t live here Anymore (1974) and starred in one of my favorites Same Time Next Year (1978) with my first great love Alan Alda. Her career seems to have had a new lease on life. She has four films out this year including Aranofsky's next masterpiece The Fountain.

Jill Clayburgh was hot. She was like a Diane Keaton crossed with Cameron Diaz. Her most obvious stand out role was in Neil Simon's The Goodbye Girl but really take your pick. Portnoys Complaint (1972), Unmarried Woman (1978) It’s My Turn (1980). Jennifer Aniston only dreams about being that good (hang on do goldfish dream?).

Now we get Clayburgh doing guest spots on Nip/Tuck.

Christ I hate Hollywood sometimes.

Terri Garr. You can forget Farrah Fawcett, you can have your Goldie Hawn, Terri Garr will always be my favorite of the blonde airheads. Like all good dumb blondes she wasn’t dumb at all, in fact she was the sharpest tool in the shed.

You only have to watch here in the Mel Brooks classic YoungFrankenstein (1974), whooping it up with Gene Wilder to know that. Perfectly cast as Phoebe's mother in Friends because surely the baton of smart dumb blonde has been deftly passed to Lisa Kudrow.

JoBeth Williams. Yes I have a special place in my heart just for Jobeth. And not for the reason you are all assuming. Yes I love Poltergeist – absolutely no surprises there, of course I loved her as the freaking out mom who couldn’t deal with coming home and seeing the furniture rearranged by unseen forces.

But my all time favorite was a zany romantic comedy with Tom Conti called American Dreamer. Jobeth played a bored housewife/writer who dreamt of living in France and being her fictional character international spy Rebecca Ryan. Predictably she gets a knock on the head and is convinced she is in fact Ms Ryan and heads off to Paris on a secret mission. It’s ridiculous, joyous and innocent. I loved it when I was 13 and I love it now.

Other women I miss and love

Mary Tyler Moore (watch Ordinary People and you’ll know why)
Jane Fonda (ignore Monster in Law and watch the China Syndrome)
Sally Field (Norma Rae – makes North Country look like a walk in the park).
Shelley Duvall (rewatch The Shining. Kubrick apparently treated her like crap and Jack was more method than he should have been. Duvall gave one of the best freaked out performances ever)
Kathleen Turner (hot stuff, always will be)

Ok. I will concede there are some good ones out there right now

Laura Linney (for Mystic River, The Squid and The Whale)
Naomi Watts (you know I can’t stand her, but…21 Grams, I Heart Huckabees, Mulholland Drive… say no more but someone please give her a sandwich)
Hilary Swank (Million Dollar Baby, devastating)
Toni Colette (for Japanese Story, the Sixth Sense)
Julianne Moore (Kidman stole her Oscar for the Hours)
Jodie Foster (for Clarice and all the rest)
Maggie Gyllenhaal (funny, smart, beautiful, brave)
Parker Posey (self deprecating, so New York, always sharp)

But you can keep

Cate Blanchett (so boring, so earnest. So private school girl prissy)
Kate Winslet (so beautiful but such a bad bad actress. Shame really)
Rachel Griffiths (you’re good are you? Prove it!)
Charlize Theron (yes alright you are beautiful and you can act…why am I bored then?)
Rachel Weisz (one word for ya… Constantine)
Chloe Sevigny (overrated and undernourished)
Radha Mitchell (no good. How many years can you be the next big thing?)
Scarlet Johansson (the worst, and I mean this, the very worst actress working today. Do not get me started).

NO I haven’t mentioned the very serious Streep, Sarandon, McDormand, Hunter, Swinton or Foster – another time… because lets face it women who can go by surname only deserve their own entry.

NO I haven’t mentioned the not so serious Cameron Diaz, Ashley Judd, Christina Applegate, Selma Blair, Drew Barrymore, Natalie Portman, Sarah Polley, Julia Stiles, Claire Danes. But one day I will…

Oh Canada!

When I was kid I loved a show called ‘Seeing Things’. It may be that I’m the only person who remembers this show. It was about a bumbling crime reporter whose psychic visions helped him solve a weekly mystery. It was really a very simple sweet show. I remember my mum would always chuckle and say ‘those crazy Canadians’.

This week I’ve been revisiting the films of David Cronenberg, another crazy Canadian. I’ve also been enjoying a Canadian show on Fox8 called Dead Like Me which follows the (after)lives of a group of grim reapers who meet in a diner and find out whose souls they are taking by being issued a post-it note.

I really like Canadians. I like the way things play out when they get to tell the story. They’re quiet and smart. They choose their words carefully and they like being grown ups. I get the feeling that if I was around them all the time I’d want to slap them and say ‘get a grip, a sense of humor and some decent clothes!’ but the distance between us makes for a beautiful friendship.

There are a few films I’d like to recommend to give you a taste of what I mean:



Jesus of Montreal. Direcor Denys Arcand created a masterpiece with this beautiful film. A small theatre group stage the Passion play and in the process transform their own lives. A wonderful salve for anyone questioning the difference between spirituality and religion. Although the film challenges the dogma of the Catholic Church it is also deeply religious. A great one to watch at Easter especially if you can’t be arsed going to church (like moi this year – too busy cookin’) or you want to know why people still bother in this godless world.


Any film by David Cronenberg. Look the reason it has taken me over a week to do this entry is because I have been trying to choose my favorite DC film. ACMI are showcasing him at the moment so you can actually get to see his work on the big screen (but I mean really who wanted to go and see Dead Ringers on Easter Sunday – god programmers can be dumb).

I was pretty sure my hot pick was The Fly but then I revisited Existenz and remembered how much I loved that. Naked lunch for Judy Davis, Crash for weird sex, Holly Hunter and Elias Koteas, Videodrome for James Wood. They are visceral and uncomfortable, so brace yourselves. These are not first date movies that’s for sure. Cronenberg films are full of flawed men attempting to defy their own bodies, desires and fears.
Horror for smart people.

The Sweet Hereafter (1997). Atom Egoyan is a much underrated film maker. You would do well to rent everything he’s ever made especially Exotica (1994) and Family Viewing (1987).

The Sweet Hereafter is his most mainstream and most successful film to date. Based on the Russell Banks novel of the same name it tells of the after effects of a tragic school bus accident in a small town. At the centre of the film is the wonderful Ian Holm who plays a lawyer brought in to sue for the loss of several of the children. It also stars one of my favorites Sarah Polley – who leaves all other young actresses in her dust.

In the hands of an American director this would have been a sentimental mess. But Egoyan is an elegant and even distant filmmaker, an aloofness that the Canadians seem to possess. The result is one of the most heartbreaking films I’ve ever seen.


Last Night (1998). This film is actually in my top 50 favorites of all time. I first saw it many years ago at the Melbourne Film Festival and was so surprised at my own reaction to it. I had loved director Don Mackellar’s other films particularly Roadkill (1989) which has been called the great Canadian Road Movie. I was ready to ride the quirky Canadian film train again. I was not prepared to be weepy mess when the house lights came on.
The film documents the ‘Last Night’ of earth. Clearly a catastrophe is headed our way and is due to hit the planet at midnight. Everyone knows this and everyone has made plans. Some are dancing on the street; others are trying to get lucky one last time, the rest are just sitting quietly waiting for the end.

Unlike the Americans who usually have a President to kill the aliens or an oil rigger to blow up the asteroid, the Canadians just make their peace as armageddon approaches. Weirdly enough David Cronenberg appears in this film as does Sarah Polley. I can’t tell you why I love this so much. It actually leaves me a little speechless.

Other Canadians I love

Michael J Fox (alex p keaton still rocks my socks)
Mike Myers (piss funny)
Neve Cambell (prettiest girl in all the world)
Matthew Perry (hubba hubba hubba)
John Candy (we miss you!)
Dave Foley (news radio – best sitcom)
Ryan Gosling (guilty pleasure)
Phil Hartman (r.i.p my love)
Michael Ironside (so bad he’s good)
Elias Koteas (where is this mans Oscar?)
Sarah Polley (uncompromising)
Eugene Levy (a man and a pie. Perfect comic timing)
Leslie Nielson (my comedy god)
Catherine O Hara (folk goddess in A Mighty Wind)
Donald Sutherland (Eye of the Needle still freaks me out)

I'm a great Supporter of...

William Fichtner

And so I continue with my top 5 favorite support actors. Number 4 on my list is the brilliant Mr. William Fichtner.

Unfortunate name yes, but cheekbones so sharp you could cut cheese with and no ham acting in sight (well maybe just a little sometimes).

He appeared in Vanity Fairs list of premier supporting actors. For a while there it looked like he’d make that final step of the way to major role status . But alas, despite scene-stealing performances in films like Ridley Scotts ‘Black Hawk Down’(2001) and the almost perfect ‘Perfect Storm’ (2000) he never quite cut the mustard as far as the big studios were concerned.

Shame really. He’s great to look at and versatile as anyone. I'm wishing for a genius David Lynch casting. Move over Willem Dafoe.

He's not conventionally handsome by any means which is a plus in my book. But he's certainly not ordinary. Support actors are by definition interesting. They act not as window dresssing (no that's for the actresses who play the supportive wife - different topic altogether) but more as a feature wall, always making the leads look better, sharper - good actors by association.

Of course some film makers (Jarmusch, Hartley, Lynch, Jarman, Anderson) make a point of littering their films with support actors. I'm pretty sure that's the secret to their finest work.

Fichter is always at his best when he’s allowed to really own a scene, creating a movie within a movie. Those of you who, like me, watch films like some people listen to music (randomly, often) will know that there are some mornings when your eating your coco pops and drinking your first bucket ‘o’ coffee that 15 great minutes can be all you need to be really memorable on film.

Take his turn as the weirdo cop in Doug Lyman’s neato debut feature ‘Go’ (1999) – a great great movie made up of lots of terrific ensemble acting. Fichtners performance as the predatory and perverted policeman by day /Amway salesman by night is the stand out of the film.

It still cracks me up.

He turned up in Malcom X (‘92), ‘Quiz Show’(‘94) ,Heat (‘95), Strange Days (‘95), Contact (’97) and Armageddon ('98) All of which are on my shelves. He’s also in one of my all time guilty pleasures, ‘Equilibrium' ('02) where Fichtner gets a chance convince Christian Bale that now he’s stopped taking his state prescribed medication and can love again he should try and kill as many people as possible. Coooool.

He’s even appeared in my much loved (will I ever shut up about it) West Wing in the classic episode The Supremes. I won’t go into detail as it is in the season currently been screened here in Australia on the ABC (epsiode 17). It’s hard, no impossible, to steal a scene when that crew of actors is in the room (round or otherwise) but Fichtner is brilliant.

It’s quite a step up from playing Josh Hartnetts dad in Michael Bays dreadful ‘Pearl Harbor’(2001) or the unaccredited voice-over marriage councilor to the plastic fantastic couple ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’(2005).

We’ll see him this year in Guy Pierces new film ‘First Snow’ currently in postproduction hopefully with more to do than give Don Cheadle an offer he can’t refuse ( ‘Crash' 05)

Oh by the way he was also in a film called ‘Ramona!’ in 1993. Which means he may have said my name once.


Number 5 on the list

Chairman of The Bored

I'm having one of those evenings. I've had so little sleep this week , I'm restless, I'm bored. I'm not happy with tonights viewing opportunities (57 channels and there's nothing on).

The best thing on offer is Medium - which is so ridiculously far fetched - that handsome, intelligent, sensitive husband is a figment of her (and the female scriptwriters) imagination. And a repeat of my beloved West Wing - of which I own the box sets and have watched a dozen times each.

And so I go to The Collection.

I've got 342 (and growing) DVD's that cover pretty much every genre - in fact one day I plan to organise them that way - so whatever I'm in the mood for it has to be there.

Right?

Wrong.

In terms of TV series there are definite gaps on the shelf

No Twin Peaks (videos only - no longer prepared to watch vhs. But how can I live without it?)
No X Files (I can't tell you why I haven't bought this. I don't want to admit to myself that I am inches away from attending a science fiction convention, or that I still dream about Mulder)
No Six Feet Under (why oh why? Season One was so so breathtaking)
No Buffy, no Moonlighting, no Northern Exposure (I lent that to someone...You know who you are)
No Tales of the City (ah Laura Linney, you're a treasure)

No Seinfeld, no Frasier, no League of Gentlemen, no Fawlty Towers, no King of the Hill, no Aeon Flux, no South Park (I know! I can't believe that either!)

And no News Radio (actually truth be told all I want to watch right now is News Radio)

As for films I'm in the mood for and do not have

Do The Right Thing (because I'm going to see Inside Man tomorrow and want to remind myself what is good about Spike Lee).

Near Dark (the greatest vampire movie ever made, I was sure I had this, but no no no)

Flying High (piss funny genius)

Stripes (see above)

Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure (where is my video card anyway...)

While searching for that one perfect DVD that will make my night complete I came across 12 films that still have the plastic wrap on them, that haven't even been cracked open -

State and Main, The Mosquito Coast, All That Jazz, Dead Ringers, Poltergiest, Old School, High Tide, The Comfort of Strangers, Catch 22, Edward Scissorhands, Shawn of the Dead, Diner.

nup. no good.

The shortlist for tonight is now

American Beauty (just for that one scene - do you know the one I'm thinking of?)


Gosford Park (Because I'm seeing Clive Owen tomorrow)

The Royal Tenenbaums (when in doubt go to your top ten that's what I say)

Down By Law (because I didn't know I had this, and it's so so very good)



You know what. The West Wing will be on in 30 minutes. I give up.

I need to get a life, or a date, or a book, or sleep. Perhaps not in that order.

Always Remember the 5th of November

I remember downloading the preview for ‘V for Vendetta’ three months ago and thinking – nup this is going to be terrible. My good mate and film buddy Michael (or perhaps from now on ‘M’) insisted it was going to be great so off we went (with half of Melbourne it seemed) to see ‘V’ on opening weekend. It’s always a good time to see a film, with a room full of fresh enthusiasts not yet onto the word of mouth cynicism that sets in if a film doesn’t live up to what was unreasonable expectations.

I have been burnt by beloved comic book adaptations – anyone who has read Alan Moore’s epic ‘From Hell’ will tell you that his material is not to be mucked about with by dopey screenwriters and ego driven directors. Alan Moore is none too pleased with this adaptation and has had his name removed from the film. I’m not quite sure what his problem is.

Producers The Wachowski Brothers intentions are always pure. The Matrix Trilogy for all is faults was at least a spirited and oft poetic attempt at storytelling. They handed this project to their DOP John McTeigue as his directorial debut. I have to say it’s not half bad. It’s not a work of genius – it’s no Bladerunner, XMen or Dark City but it’s not a turkey like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen or Fantastic Four either.

Much is being made in the masked man – the terrorist/anarchist ‘V’- played (sort of) by Hugo Weaving. I kept thinking of Roger Ebert’s review where he likened the film to Thomas the Tank Engine – because the mask remains on and completely inanimate. Weaving has a great voice but it’s a shame not to see that face – he might as well not have been there at all (maybe he wasn’t). Of course V is really just a concept and so the idea of removing the mask is ridiculous- in many ways he’s the only character not wearing a mask of some sort. It is fun to listen to him spout Shakespeare, tell us all about Guy Fawkes, play Cry Me a River on his contraband Wurlitzer and generally flounce about in the cape.

Natalie Portman is an actress I never really liked until the very beautiful Garden State and last years fantastic Closer (you want to know what marriage is really like? – rent that corker). Now I wish she’d do more – anything to stop Scarlett Johansson making films (don’t get me started on that one).

Portman has one of those lovely faces that exude thoughtfulness, prettiness, empathy. She’s definitely sugar and spice and all things nice and maintains this delicacy despite the buzzcut and bad cargopants. She’s good in this, a bit shaky with her accent at times but as her character is slowly deconstructed she transforms into a very still force in the film.

The great Stephens both Rea and Fry steal the show. It’s always such a pleasure to see them. My love for them knows no bounds. Fry especially is one of those great Englishmen who has really mastered the art of English – it is a pleasure to hear him speak. I always purchase the audio versions of his books just for that reason. Even though his part is small he does so much with it. John Hurt is suitably maniacal as the Hitler-like dictator, but if they really wanted to tap the original material which was more directed to the Thatcher era casting Judi Dench or Charlotte Rampling in the role would have made it more acidic.

'V' hasn’t had the best reviews and of course the Americans are a wee bit cranky about the whole thing but I don’t think they have reason to be too upset. Who cares if they are anyway? I’m getting so sick of hearing about Americans, what they think and what they care about. It’s like having insane cousins in your family you can’t stand but always have to spend Christmas with.

This film is so is much more about England. It’s an Orwellian near future in a country where you are photographed or filmed 6000 times a day by surveillance cameras, a country in fear of avian flu, or a repeat of Mad Cow Disease that devastated the British beef industry. A country that has been in crisis for some time.

And it’s for a generation of kids who aren’t highly political, who need to be more than ever. They’ll go to this hoping for the adrenalin rush of the Matrix and probably be more than a little disappointed. I don’t know how much they’ll take away from ‘V’, I don’t think its good enough to really impact them heavily. But the majority of these kids are not going to see ‘Syriana’ or ‘Goodnight and Good Luck’ so any exposure to independent thought is a good one.

PS - Now all that being said and done I have to mention that the highlight of the evening for me was the preview of Superman. I remember seeing this with mum in 1978 I had just turned 7 and fell instantly in love with comic book heroes. Last night I had tears in my eyes hearing that music then Marlon Brandos voice. I think it’s all going to be alright kids, fingers crossed.